| By: The Glam |
Have you ever told yourself that you only need one or two best friends around you to depend on in life when you realize how cruel and judgmental others can be? When you start defining yourself by what others think of you, that's when you'd hear
someone tell you that "you don't have to be everything to everyone, just be something to someone" and screw the rest. But really, by putting all your trash into one emotional dustbin, you could be taking a serious gamble of your emotional stability. I myself, have been victim of taking emotional risks. I don't regret it and I don't fault anyone but I survived it and lived to tell the tale.
No doubt that it is healthy to keep a mindset that there is no need to please everyone but only a few close friends you care about and whom you know care about you. But, this mentality becomes unhealthy when it is taken to the extreme, putting these close friends on pedestals that can only take you two ways; socially confident of handling external relationships or down in the dumps in the face of disappointments.
I will not advice you what you should not have done, because there are just too many people in the world who can't wait to jump at the fact that "YOU ARE WRONG"! I might sound as if I'm whining to you or complaining about the sad reality of people or just being plain annoyingly pessimistic. But these are negative experiences that all of us go through and are just probably too prideful to admit that we are defeated under these over bearing circumstances. How many of us are willing to stand up to our truest emotions and stand by our opinions without fear of being judged as too whiny or being too negative?I for once would like to be myself and I appreciate people who are honest with their feelings. I want to be someone whom the world can relate to, and be the comfort zone for people I trust and care, not the one to bring them down.
I write about my experiences to share with everyone how to deal with situations of failed emotional investments - be it in friends or family. When i first discovered how I was neglected and taken for granted as a friend, I was fuming mad inside of me. In defense for my feelings, I started justifying my anger based on the inbalanced contributions and reciprocations. Suddenly, this friendship seemed to act on the infamous terms of trade. It might be natural to feel disappointed in a friend for taking you for granted, but to ruin the friendship based on pride is plain silly. The best friendships arise from unconditional terms; you trust and believe because you have faith in your friend. But when you realize you can give up this friendship the moment the terms of trade is unfair, that's when it's time to conclude that this is only a relationship with benefits, not exactly friendship.
I admit I'm not so perfect to serve as an example for my theory; forgiving is hard but changing a mindset is even harder. I know that if I want to keep the friendship, I must change my mindset, forgiving then comes naturally. I'm sure the bulk of us here all aims to be better friends to everyone but rising up to your own expectations, at times, remains the the hardest to achieve.
I'm telling you to set a goal and work towards it. You might be busy setting corporate goals, but don't forget about your friendship goals too.
No doubt that it is healthy to keep a mindset that there is no need to please everyone but only a few close friends you care about and whom you know care about you. But, this mentality becomes unhealthy when it is taken to the extreme, putting these close friends on pedestals that can only take you two ways; socially confident of handling external relationships or down in the dumps in the face of disappointments.
I will not advice you what you should not have done, because there are just too many people in the world who can't wait to jump at the fact that "YOU ARE WRONG"! I might sound as if I'm whining to you or complaining about the sad reality of people or just being plain annoyingly pessimistic. But these are negative experiences that all of us go through and are just probably too prideful to admit that we are defeated under these over bearing circumstances. How many of us are willing to stand up to our truest emotions and stand by our opinions without fear of being judged as too whiny or being too negative?I for once would like to be myself and I appreciate people who are honest with their feelings. I want to be someone whom the world can relate to, and be the comfort zone for people I trust and care, not the one to bring them down.
I write about my experiences to share with everyone how to deal with situations of failed emotional investments - be it in friends or family. When i first discovered how I was neglected and taken for granted as a friend, I was fuming mad inside of me. In defense for my feelings, I started justifying my anger based on the inbalanced contributions and reciprocations. Suddenly, this friendship seemed to act on the infamous terms of trade. It might be natural to feel disappointed in a friend for taking you for granted, but to ruin the friendship based on pride is plain silly. The best friendships arise from unconditional terms; you trust and believe because you have faith in your friend. But when you realize you can give up this friendship the moment the terms of trade is unfair, that's when it's time to conclude that this is only a relationship with benefits, not exactly friendship.
I admit I'm not so perfect to serve as an example for my theory; forgiving is hard but changing a mindset is even harder. I know that if I want to keep the friendship, I must change my mindset, forgiving then comes naturally. I'm sure the bulk of us here all aims to be better friends to everyone but rising up to your own expectations, at times, remains the the hardest to achieve.
I'm telling you to set a goal and work towards it. You might be busy setting corporate goals, but don't forget about your friendship goals too.
alee i kinda get what you mean, it really sucks to feel like you're being made use of, and some times the worst part's when the other party doesnt even realises it, and you're the petty bitch that's apparently gone crazy fer throwing an oh-so beautiful friendship.